Label: Your True happy Identity, One Trait at a Time

I struggled a lot with my label when I was younger. Granted, people didn’t really know a lot about autism at the time. On top of that I had pdd-nos. Which literally means, Not Otherwise Specified. Not really Asperger, not fully autistic, just sort of on the spectrum.

My parents didn’t know anything about autism. Dad still refuses to acknowledge that it even exists. My mom on the other hand, is more open minded and she tried her best. But she also blindly followed whatever the doctors told her, without listening to my wishes and true need.

They simply forget to explain it to me!

All I understood at the time: “I am autistic, I get bullied for it, I hate it and I feel broken.

“fun” fact. DSM-5 introduced in 2013, eliminated the separated diagnosis and unified them under the autism spectrum. This was also the year that dual diagnosis of both ASD and ADHD became possible.

“I promise, I will get to my point very soon!”

When I Started Rewriting My Own Label

During the summer of 2024, I got diagnosed both ASD and ADHD. I always noticed that I did not fit the entire “autistic label”. Growing up around kids with autism made that very clear. I know now, that they most likely have level 2 or 3 autism. Where I am have level 1 autism. (I’m not an expert, but this basically means they offten show more traits and offten need more help).

Let’s just say I noticed some overlap, but minimum at best. I’m not trying to say this is a bad thing. It just helped me to make sense of my own situation.

After many different types of therapy, mostly related to trauma and depression, I had the bandwidth to research ADHD. “Jup, this is me!” (Extra Focus: The Quick Start Guide to Adult ADHD. This book let me to ADHD.)

I did encounter one problem, which might sound similiar to your own. During my ADHD diagnosis, something similar happened, this time I noticed it. I learned about ADHD and what I most likely struggle with. They suggested an ADHD-group for young adults to learn about and function better with ADHD. Honestly this was great, I did learn a lot. But there was one issue and we all noticed that. Although our stories and struggles alligned a lot. We also noticed that some things did not make any sense.

Time blindness example

I’m never late to anything. Heck, i’m always early. Other group members couldn’t be on time to save their lifes. So time blindness should not be a struggle for me right? Well, yes and no. Time blindness means: “Difficulty perceiving and or managing time.” I learned it can also mean: “No freaking clue how long: a task, traveling or how long my workout take.” This is just one example. My point is this. I had/have no clue, how my ASD or ADHD affect my life.

That is one of the reasons I started Rewriting My Label. It started out as a list of ASD and ADHD traits that I recognize in myself.

Gosh this list sounds awful, what are my strengths?

This question became my second reason!

Rewriting my label to figure myself out.

I decided I wanted to explain myself to others and explain it well. But in a way that no only showed my struggles, but also my strengths. The list of traits turned into a list of: what dysregulates me? What helps me stay regulated, which tools help me during my days and finally who am I underneath it all.

I would be lying if I told you I was done doing this. I have been masking for years and I won’t be able to just turn this off. Heck, I’m still finding out new things about myself. But I am getting better at unmasking and I have been openly talking about it with friends. They do not only understand me better. They accept me for who I am.

I also reconnected with my writing passion and rediscovered some of my strengths within my labels. Creative writing, always down for adventure, or just listing to calm music while reading a book. Now I just have to figure out to enjoy these things, while also being mindful of my needs.

They will never be a superpower. They will always be part of the struggle. But it’s not all bad and I love my unique brain. Hiding and masking only makes it harder. Part of the journey is looking inward and embracing the true you. Masking will never fully stop, sometimes it’s even needed to act kinder or to function at work/school or with friend. Just not all the time. Be true to yourself, figure out your entire label and be true to yourself.

You deserve to be included and accepted without hiding parts of your life. I believe in you and I will be sharing much more! Thank you for reading 🙂